I showed him my bush... on skype.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
