Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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