she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My vagina is very pro this idea
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
