She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
