Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Sober January is a disaster.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
