Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
