..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
