yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
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