How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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