my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
