did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
