she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
