He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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