My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
