Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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