i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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