help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
