I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
