i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
