Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"

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(970): View more from Colorado

Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back

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(214): View more from Texas

Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure

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(515): View more from Iowa

you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.

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(845): View more from New York

Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.

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(360): View more from Washington

you inspire me to be a worse person

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.

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(208): View more from Idaho

She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.

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