Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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