I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
