i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
