OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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