Your tits are I can't wait for
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
