3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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