yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
