hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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