Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
mondays should just be called national damage control day
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
