Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
