: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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