That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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