it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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