dude i'm inner monologue high
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize