I got chris browned last night
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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