Got a toothbrush?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
