And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
