Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
