just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
