"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
