I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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