please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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