I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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