i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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