I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
