Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
