And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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