5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's the barista slut.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
