How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
