you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
