WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
